The Body Project
I haven’t talked about one of my major ongoing projects of the moment yet. Mostly because if I failed, I didn’t want it to be public. It’s been twelve weeks though and I’ve lost twenty pounds. That brings me down to 180, the thinnest I’ve been in six years. My goal is 160. Halfway there and I feel comfortable sharing now.
I’ll put the rest under read more if you’re interested in what/how/why I’m doing this. And I want to extend out to you, a sympathetic ear if you’re in the same boat or want to be.
It’s been hard. I’ve probably bored everyone in my life talking about the minutia of what I’m doing. Mostly it involves eating substantially less and actually working out.
This wasn’t an issue of looks. I love my curves and have no intention of getting so thin that I lose them (according to various charts, my ‘ideal weight’ is more like 150, but fuck that noise, I like being a little zaftig). I went to the doctor for something unrelated and it turns out my blood pressure? Nearly high enough to warrant medication. At 29. Not acceptable to me.
I don’t like gyms. I don’t like activity in general. I prefer being home or at work in front of a computer. Gyms make me nervous. I hate the idea of people looking at me while I sweat bullets doing virtually nothing because I’m so out of shape.
I went to Curves first (something I’d done before). It’s mostly older ladies chattering with each other and no one gives me a second look. I got comfortable moving around again. As I got back in shape, I started walking around my neighborhood on mornings I didn’t have time to go to Curves. I would occasionally push myself into a jog, but it was haphazard and not for nearly long enough.
The Couch to 5k was something I knew a very tiny amount about. I went on the NHS site (there’s plenty of versions of the program out there, but I find Laura, the podcast narrator from NHS to be very soothing and supportive. I often respond to her questions as if she can hear me….it’s possible my neighbors think I’m nuts) and read up on it. Like everything, I went in with a lot of research. There were so many sucess stories on personal blogs that I felt encouraged.
I started Week 3 today. For the first time in my life, I jogged for three minutes straight. Twice. It was tough. I was tired and sweaty (it’s extremely humid here in NY right now which didn’t help). But I did it. For the first time, walking back to my house, I was convinced that I could finish this program. I might not actually be doing 5k by the end of it, but I think I will be able to jog for the entire twenty minutes.
What I have to tell you all, the most important thing from all of this, is my brain chemistry has improved. People around me tell me that I seem happier. I smile more. I’ve had a lot fewer bad dreams.
If you’re out there, beloved follower, and you’re trying to lose weight, let’s do this together, ok? It’s hard and it’s long and maybe we’ll backslide, but I am with you. If you just want to compare notes on food or bitch about exercise or you want to try something new and need some extra motivation, drop an ask or leave a comment. I’m with you.